A Challenge to Men: New Year’s Resolutions and the Gift of Grace

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, establish, and strengthen you. (1 Peter 5:10)
 

Men are notorious for making New Year’s resolutions that never quite get off the ground. However, I have found in my own life that God, in his goodness to me, always manages to take my hidden agenda of manly physical and spiritual reconstruction, and over the course of the year through his grace, leave a lasting mark on my body, mind, and soul.

All of us are called to come to a place of transformation through trial as we become more and more the men we are meant to be. The Connecticut Catholic Men’s Conference exists to help us move the process along. It is in the stories we share as men that we experience a true unfolding of the resolutions we make in our hearts. I’d like to share my “Resolution Story” in the hope that it may inspire you to share your own stories with your brothers and all men, in your parishes, your work, and even on our CCMC Facebook page.
 
Be Careful What You Pray For…

This year, God elected to make a preemptive strike in my life by turning a little Christmas overindulgence into a full-blown medical emergency, literally knocking me off my feet and causing me to step back and reevaluate both my life choices and the attitudes that had inspired them. I remember thinking about committing to losing more weight, loving my family to a greater degree and taking more time for God, prayer, and reflection. I guess God was listening, because he certainly gave me what I needed and more!
 
Light and Momentary?

My Christmas started off with a wonderful Italian dinner with my wife’s family at our home. Following the appetizers, we feasted on antipasto, chicken parmigiana, stuffed shells, and desserts galore. We opened presents and spent time laughing and sharing good times. I remember thinking – as I always do at this time of year – that this minor bit of intemperance was only for a time, and once the New Year was upon me, I would gradually get back to the business of watching my weight, spending more time with God and my family, and growing as a godly man.

It was then that I noticed I was not feeling too well. After a night of intense abdominal pain, and a day spent going from the walk-in clinic to the Emergency Room, I found myself admitted to the hospital with an acutely inflamed gallbladder that needed to come out. I must confess that one verse that did not come to mind during my festival of unrestrained bodily agony was this beautiful passage from 2 Corinthians:

 
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed every day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, because we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

 
I freely admit that at the time I saw my extreme discomfort as neither light nor momentary, though I was keenly aware that my outer nature was no longer what it used to be. But as I accepted the inevitability of my fate and sank under the influence of the anesthesia, I slowly began to view this divinely-enacted respite from a more eternal perspective, surrendering my control to the One who holds all things in his loving hands.
 
Suffering, Endurance, Character, and Hope

There is a transformative nature to our pain that leads to a greater awareness of our fallen nature without Christ, our need for God’s care, and the true heavenly goal we should be seeking. Like Paul’s letter to the Romans, we know that our suffering helps us to persevere, to develop proven character, and to discover the hope that is ours (Romans 5:1-5).

It is hard for men to be left in a vulnerable position, and being knocked on my backside by a medical emergency was certainly not what I was looking for to refine my faith.  However, this little temporary ordeal allowed God to refine me in the fires of pain and harsh realities, burning off my casual selfishness and my petty schemes, my self-important pride and my self-pitying attitude. That is what men need: large and small reminders that life and its joys should not be taken lightly. We need to allow the struggles we experience to give way to a disciplined and persevering faith that builds our character and teaches us to be men of hope.
 
A Message of Glory from Memories Gone By

That first night home, after taking the pain medication I needed to help me sleep, I spent the next eight hours facing strange visions and sad dreams to carry me through until morning. I remember dreaming of my long-deceased mother who at one point said to me, “You need to go out and play; don’t stay in here with me!” When I woke I thought about how often I forget to “play” – to throw myself into my life with the faith and passion of a child. The trivial, temporary resolutions we make truly pale in comparison to the glory that awaits those who believe in Jesus. Yet, as men, we so often blot out the light of this revelation: that life goes by too quickly and we need to get serious about how we life it.
Peter reminds us of the purpose of God’s purification in our lives:

 
In this you rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold which though perishable is tested by fire, may redound to praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 1:6-7)

 
The “slight momentary” troubles we experience here on earth are meant to remind us of the glory that we experience now by faith and will experience fully when Christ is revealed. Yes, our lives are fleeting. Children all too soon grow up and our families change as the years go by. But we are called to go right on playing – to enjoy life, to endure our trials, and to live and laugh and love will all our might as these wonderful realities point us to the greater glory that will be ours in the end.
 
You Can’t Keep a Good Man Down

There is a calm that comes after a storm such as this, offering a moment of clarity so profound that time seems to stand still. In my weakness, propped up in my recliner with a cup of tea and my family around me, I gladly yielded to my helplessness and my need for recovery. And when I think about it, that is really what making resolutions is all about. Life throws so much at us as men, and we who are faithful must push through the days of joy and pain and seek that holy place of recovery where we allow the renewing power of the Savior to pour itself into our lives once more.

Each year, we men need to be challenged to continue the process of spiritual transformation from sinner to saint, from the fires of suffering to the glory of the vision that shapes our souls. As we step into the days to come, let us thank God that he is loving enough to allow the afflictions we experience to cause the love and life of Christ to manifest itself in our words and deeds. As we love our families and live out faith, we must say with St. Paul that we are


…afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. (2 Corinthians 4:8-10)


It is a joy to know that Jesus desires to manifest himself in this frail, fallen human frame that is me. It is a wonder to see how he turns our yesterdays into treasures, our tomorrows into hopeful dreams, and our present into an ever-unfolding experience of eternal satisfaction and immeasurable joy. I think that is worth a little bit of belly pain – or whatever life will throw at us. Jesus, in his great love, will continue to sing that same song of salvation into souls that are being transformed from glory to glory, day by precious day.
 
Resolutions and Real Resolve

The divine recovery that is Christ’s transformative love fuels our unspoken resolutions with true divine resolve and allows them to unfold over the course of our lives. We can rejoice in our families and our family of faith who walk the journey right along with us. We can cherish the grace that Jesus has given us in rescuing us from sin and the worst of ourselves. Our loving God is wise enough to guide us, strong enough to move us, and loving enough to drive us to my knees and occasionally our backs in order to teach us the wonder of conversion.

As you travel the narrow path this new year, may the spiritual surgery that the divine surgeon performs in your life empower you to demonstrate the joy of salvation and the power of transforming love to all you meet. May we surrender all our resolutions to the One who delights to make all things new as each year rolls around to carry us home!